And death? As light as a feather my friend
by Necrofuckup
Summary: Years have passed and What little Zim had is now gone..... [Finished]
1. Woke up again

Disclaimer: I do not own Invader Zim or any of the characters that belong to Jhonen Vasquez.  
  
My eyes opened. I had fallen asleep again. This planet seems to do that to me. An explanation was sought and never found. Failure. That's me personified. More about that later.  
  
My eyes opened and Gir slept noiselessly in front of me upside down, I was on my back. After all these years, these slow days into weeks into months into years just merged now into a single timeline. A big thick line of hopelessness.  
  
Don't get me wrong, I love it here.....  
  
Fuck that.  
  
I can't even lie to my brain. I used to be the best. At least, that was the way I saw myself. More about that later.  
  
I sat up. Woohoo an accomplishment, don't get many of those now. My scheming ideas are far off and cry out for me to pick them up and dust them off, give them shine, put them in the light and cherish them at least once more.  
  
Fucking descriptions. I think like this too often, it's too..... unlike what I am... used to be.... too human.  
  
I give up.  
  
I am hungry, and my stomach forces me to fulfill it's chemical lust.  
  
.......mmm, shnacks!  
  
-  
  
Oh look...... it's later.  
  
I'm not ready to tell you.  
  
Go and read a real book or something, by someone who makes money at doing something they're good at. Shit even comics are better than me rambling on. ..... still here?  
  
go away!  
  
........ I hate you.  
  
I'm going to college. He'll be there. I hate him too, even now. But the human part of me likes college. Learning is fun kiddies, it helps you to become tomorrow's future, yeah more pressure. Fuck them, do it for your own happiness and pleasure. In the future, you can be what you want. Anything, it's like a dream, if you care enough. But for me..... no future, no matter how hard I try.  
  
Fuck. I need my disguise.  
  
I won't be back 'til a few hours later. Gir will probably be asleep. He likes his disguise. Later he might be outside, like an animal, enjoying the sun. He's docile. No more robot.  
  
I miss him, he's gone.  
  
I'm going.  
  
I'm gone.  
  
-  
  
Somewhere else.  
  
It's dark.  
  
No faces but voices.  
  
Simple narrative for idiots.  
  
liking it? .....  
  
"Are we adjourned?"  
  
"yes"  
  
"Then this meeting is over. Correct?"  
  
"yes"  
  
"good. No further meetings until the project has met it's halfway point upon completion?"  
  
"yes"  
  
"then everything is perfect?"  
  
"......... yes"  
  
"...... I don't like your hesitation. What bother's you?"  
  
"It is.... nothing sirs. The project will go ahead without delay and it's schedule will be met. What bother's me will be dealt with, and need not bother either of you."  
  
"good. We shall be making an exit. We bid you good day, Dee."  
  
"Thank you, my Tallest..."  
  
Chapter end.  
  
Oh the vagueness of it all. You'll soon learn more though. The story will pick up around about chapter three or four, and will probably contain a bit more background information, and other characters. Chapter 2 contains a few of an older Dib's thoughts as he walks home from College. 


	2. College is for people with futures

I love the college. It's fun to learn, as I stated earlier. But the lectures are boring as Fuck. A human term, I'm too human now. Oh well, who cares.  
  
The male talking is bald, and overweight and just by looking at him I can deduct when he will drop dead and be forced into a hole. Honestly, though my patriotism is somewhat deflated I can still have love for my races' technology, while their dead rot, mine are harvested. The human part of me is disgusted, but I know from the Pak on my back it is right.  
  
No-one cares about this, he just talks and we don't care. When I say we I mean me and the humans. Stinking vermin. Him. He's different but exactly the same.  
  
............  
  
Stop talking Mr. Raymond, stop talking, why won't this end? We are bored and we don't care. Fuck.  
  
Just shut up already. Damn I 'm bored.  
  
.....  
  
...  
  
..............  
  
Why do I even care? I sit here bored and my mind wanders. He's sitting opposite me. He does'n't care either. Too smart for this shit. He's much like me, too smart for all this. Pushed through the standardised human education system, both of us are younger than the others here, well.... I'm special. With a skin disease. It's a disease now, fuck a condition, feel sorry for me, pity me you fucking teenaged hormone bags.  
  
.......  
  
...  
  
..  
  
.  
  
What is this lecture even about?  
  
I see Him falling asleep. Maybe if I keep watching him long enough, he'll be cought by that obese fat fuck and maybe I can derive some amusement out of his dazed embarrassment.  
  
No. That won't happen. He never gets caught. Fuck him. With a spork........ ..... ....spork?  
  
....  
  
Whatever.  
  
.....  
  
........  
  
.....  
  
Huh? What the fuck?  
  
I fell asleep?  
  
I can feel my blood flushing onto my green cheeks, and eveyone is laughing. Dib doesn't laugh. He isn't like all the delinquents here.  
  
I remember to look at Mr Raymond, and he is even uglier when angry, that sweaty fat pus-ball. He shouldn't wear white.  
  
I hate him. Why am I here? It's then I realise that I can leave. They have no power over me, I am Zim! I will rule you all. I am the supreme overlord of Earth!!..... .......No-one can hear me think.  
  
I'm leaving.  
  
As I walk away, I look over my shoulder and Dib has left his seat.  
  
-  
  
Lectures finish.  
  
I do not need to prolong my time here on the campus any longer, and so I leave. It's windy so I wrap my black trench coat tight around myself. Myself isn't a lot.  
  
Wind is cold.  
  
Wind is biting.  
  
Wind reminds me of Him.  
  
He is cold and biting. His glare alone makes me want to gouge out his eyes and stab his brain. That ever-scheming brain. But now I'm older, and I don't want to be carried away as a murder case, forgotten and lost.  
  
Fuck you Zim. Got to Hell.  
  
......  
  
walking  
  
......  
  
You always have to be the centre of attention, but today was so pitiful.  
  
Hah, anyone could have done that, Even that idiot muscle bound fuck-up Torque, still in our old Skool, could pull off a stupid prank like that. Pretending to fall asleep and snore mid-lecture. You're so immature.  
  
Mighty Irken race? Fuck that, you're nothing. Just a class clown. You got the make-up already.  
  
............  
  
Ranting about the thing I hate the most helps.  
  
......  
  
Walk some more....  
  
......  
  
How did Zim get taller than me? FUCK! I said I would stop asking that question! I don't know and never will. My espionage back then found out too little.. That spark is gone.  
  
Now I want to just show them I'm not a fucking nut.  
  
Yes, he is an alien, and yes, you're all fucking idiots.  
  
Fuck.  
  
He's like a fucked up mirror. And I can't break the glass. I'm stuck to the floor and all he does is grin. Like he's won or something, he has not won, no-one will.......  
  
.......  
  
....  
  
I'm home.  
  
Shit.  
  
-  
  
.......My door doesn't make sense. It has a gents restroom symbol on it. Why havn't I got that changed?  
  
I'm human now. That's why. My punishment was to be exiled, now it is to watch myself change species into a slow witted dull monkey beast. With little or no intelligence.  
  
I haven't made it that far. I should kill myself before then.  
  
.....  
  
I'm standing outside.  
  
...........  
  
It's gonna rain.  
  
Gir? Where are you? Meh, he's just a pet now. Not a robot. This lifestyle was too soft for him, and the contents of his brain probably fused into something resembling a domestic human cat.  
  
Will that happen to me......?  
  
I have college work to do, so I will do it. And then? I don't know, I'll figure it out when I get to it.  
  
.........  
  
........  
  
'Knock' fuckin' 'knock'  
  
Who could want Zim now? I stare out of the peephole.  
  
No-one.  
  
This intrigues me, I like that. What I don't know, what I can't answer, what I have to work to achieve are the only things that I can extract pleasure from. No sex for Irk. That's one thing humans can do that I can't.  
  
Doesn't matter.  
  
I open the door, and the cold, biting wind hits me forcefully, whipping that fucking acidic rain onto my face. I don't close the door and look down brefly, to find that there is a metal and armoured box on my doorstep, with a metal robotic arm with a rounded cudgel, which was what knocked on my door. Now I ignore the stinging of the rain. The door is wide open, letting the filthy elements into my domain. And I stand there. Still in my poor, but seemingly effective disguise. And I am just standing there, looking down, then my heart skips a beat and my eyes grow wide. For the first time in one fuck-long amount of time, the pang of homesickness pulses through my veins and arteries.  
  
On the box, it reads 'Zim,  
  
RE: hello,  
  
From: Dee, the Tallest's most trusted soldier.  
  
-  
  
Chapter end. 


	3. Thoughts upon thoughts

Disclaimer: don't own anything. Mr. Vasquez owns all.  
  
AN: If you like Gir as an insane integral part of the story, then you'll have put up with Gir in this whole fic.  
Deal with it.  
  
-  
  
"Zim, glad to be part of your wretched life once again. I hope that we will meet as soon as possible, and if our Project runs smoothly, we will.  
  
Your ever-loving friend,  
  
Dee"  
  
The message sent by mail. My lab is destroyed. By me. I figured I wouldn't need it.  
  
........  
  
....  
  
...  
  
Oh..... fffffffuck!  
  
Fuck! I scream and scream and scream. Not her. Why the fuck her!?  
  
Of all the bitches on that fucking planet of mine did she have to become aide to the Tallest?  
  
To spite me? Perhaps. My goals were to gain acceptance and appreciation by everyone, especially the Tallest. So when I disappeared, she took the quickest road to their side. Sides.  
  
.......  
  
..  
  
Shit. I turn on the TV, why? Because it's a human thing to do, that's why. Humans like to numb their brains to a rotting mush, using an entertaining death screen.  
  
.....  
  
.....  
  
.......  
  
Nothing on.  
  
Fuck it, there never is. I don't like their broadcasting, it's shit. The Scary Monkey Show!? How has that managed to stay on for so many years? The monkey is almost dead. I feel sorry for him. It's more like The Incontinent Grey Hair Toothless Sometimes-growls-slightly Monkey Show. Well, that proves one thing. That I'm not fully fucked into a walking pile of inferiority.  
  
Dee.....  
  
.......Dee.......  
  
......Argh! Fuck you Dee!!  
  
I scream some more and rampage down to my broken lab.  
  
Into my created darkness.  
  
Where I can scream some more.  
  
-  
  
I jumped onto my bed and stared up at the ceiling. Bare squares of colour against the slightly more faded same colour. My pictures and posters, I got rid of a whle ago. That part of me died when Zim's spirit did too. Besides, It seemed like I was the only one on Earth who took it seriously. Mankind seemed to create paranormal creatures and things just to make the public feel either scared that there is something that they don't know about, or try and interest them for ratings. I felt like it was me, the person truly believing in investigating what was unknown, against everyone else, who saw it as a profit.  
  
Still, not much of a difference from everyday life..... hah.  
  
.......  
  
.......  
  
Hunger. Hmm..... I leave my strangely bare walled room and head downstairs to the kitchen. With any luck, she won't be there. Hopefully she'll be in her room, playing a computer game, fanatic little bitch.  
  
The last time I said 'Good morning', she hit my, and I quote "fucking huge shit-faced" head with a glass and later I had to have stitches. She never says sorry. I can feel the scar on my scalp.  
  
......  
  
Shit, she's in there. Eating something...... and playing a handheld waste- of-time.  
  
I turn to leave but she saw me. Fuck. 'Hey....' I try to sound casual and nice, as I walk into the room awkwardly, but I just come off insecure. What is she? A cat or something? She just looks at me like she can smell the fear.  
  
Fuck, I shouldn't have to fear my younger sibling, but she's either incredibly strong or I'm just pathetically weak. Or both...  
  
She goes back to her game.  
  
I nervously remove the juice from the refridgerator, even though I'm hungry, I'll have to wait. I take a glass from a cupboard and pour some juice. The orange liquid seems so slow, and I find myself concentrating on the liquid, willing it to hurry up. I'm so anxious, I can hear her crunching her food, and when she speaks so suddenly I physically jump, spilling the orange juice. She says, without moving,  
  
"letter for you."  
  
.....  
  
She fucking enjoyed it I just fucking know.  
  
-  
  
And then some Gir.  
  
He walked on all fours along a fence, occasionally slipping, but quickly regaining his odd footing. No real paws, you see. A little green dog walking along a wooden fence. His face a perfect picture of a happy little contentment. His tongue happily moved in and out of his mouth.  
  
"meooooow" he chirped. Somehow, along the way, he had got it into his head to act like a cat. Even though his disguise suggested a dog.  
  
Gir continued to walk along the fence until it came to an end, then jumping down to the ground, he walked down an alleyway between two houses and eyed a carbage can thoughtfully, at least, thoughtfully for what he was, and with ease and swiftness, jumped into it to eat it's contents.  
  
Goodnight Gir, enjoy your meal.  
  
"meeeeoooooow"  
  
What do you expect? His brain's made out of garbage.  
  
-  
  
I am important. Very important. When Irkens hear my name they know not to bother me. I am one of the highest individuals in the hierarchical ladder. I have no doubt you are on the lowest rung.  
  
I am also tall. Obviously, not as tall as my Tallest, but to everyone else, I can do what I want. If I want you dead, then it will be done. Do not cross me.  
  
I am Dee, the one Zim will realise that he should not have tried to compete with. Tiny insignificant little bother that he is. He will see that I have won. And I also have no doubt, that when he got my little communiqué, he probably either became very aggressive, or just fearful.  
  
Dee keeps her promises.  
  
And Zim, I do not make exceptions.  
  
I am Dee, and you will pay for scarring your superior.  
  
-  
  
Dib? I say quietly as I put my head round his door. Don't be asleep, my mind's voice says. He is. Shit.  
  
....  
  
I watch him.  
  
...  
  
.  
  
Fucking tears.  
  
....  
  
Shit, I wanna say sorry. For everything.  
  
.......  
  
Fuck, I can't.  
  
And I know the reason why. ......  
  
I go back to my room.  
  
I turn off my consoles, my p.c. and my light.  
  
I enter the closet.  
  
I hate myself.  
  
I really am a fucking bitch if I make him so uneasy around me. My bro-.... half brother shouldn't have to put up with it. With me.  
  
He fears me and with good reason. But that's not want I want. I want to be close to him, as friends and siblings. But I can't. My mother left Dad because she couldn't accept Dib. She left me behind. Because of Dib. I shouldn't blame him but I do, and I take my anger out on him, unfairly. I don't even apologise.  
  
Earlier he was so nervous just being in the kitchen with me. I tell him he's got mail and he jumps and spills juice. I didn't want to, but I started to laugh.  
  
Fuck.  
  
....  
  
I stand in my closet and reach up. My hand brushes the hanging light cord and I pull it. The light bulb turns on..... dull.  
  
This is where I keep her pictures. The pictures of my mother. They're stuck to the wall. In between the clothes. I come in here so that I never forget. Forget her. I may have only known her for a short time but I still see her.  
  
Sounds fucking emotional but it's true.  
  
......  
  
I stare, once again, at the picture stuck in front of me. It's crooked, but that's not why I've spent so much time looking at it. There's Dad, without his lab coat. I think he wears it all the time to ward off women. First wife died, second left. He just wants to work now. There's a small Dib, sitting on a nicely decorated chair, specially for photos. A tiny me is being held in her arms. My mother. She's not happy. She may have stopped smiling for just one moment to glance at Dib, but the camera caught it and tells what she was thinking.  
  
'Go away, child. You shouldn't be here. My little Gaz is better than you.' It's the look of contempt. She wanted Dib to be out of the picture, probably literally as well as in the family.  
  
.....  
  
Time passes and I go to bed.  
  
But first I complete level twelve mission nineteen.  
  
Hard boss.  
  
Hard life.  
  
-  
  
Begin tomorrow already.....  
  
Chapter end. 


	4. A Morning of Fun part one

Part one  
  
Disclaimer: don't own anything. Mr. Vasquez owns all.  
  
AN:This chapter is the first half of two halves, understand? Good. Here's where we actually find out what Dee wants, the situation with Gaz and Dib and we see what Dib thinks of Zim, and what Zim thinks of Dib.  
  
En-fuckin-joy.  
  
-  
  
Ten past twelve AM.  
  
go to bed.  
  
I'm so tired at the moment. I'm sitting in front of my destroyed communication computer screen, and even though I'm stupidly tired, I'm not falling asleep.  
  
My eyes hurt. I've rubbed them so many times it just sore now.  
  
I rub them again.  
  
Ow.  
  
......  
  
Ever since I got that message from Her, all I've been doing is screaming, my throat hurts,  
  
hitting the broken metal debris, my fists are still bleeding,  
  
and trying to think of a way to get myself out of here, I have a headache.  
  
...........Sure, there's always....  
  
.....  
  
No.  
  
Shit, my Irken blood won't let me even say it.  
  
Su........ eee.......side.  
  
Hah, I can say it like that, bitch!  
  
But still, I don't want to. I know I may have only a speck of use within me to carry on living, but it's my life and I have yet to actually do something to impress anyone other than my old inflated ego.  
  
.......  
  
And Dib.  
  
.........  
  
.......  
  
......  
  
....  
  
Fuck.  
  
Oh, and my Pak won't let me.  
  
............  
  
So.....  
  
What do I do?  
  
Ah, fuck.  
  
I don't know. I'm going out.  
  
-  
  
Two twenty seven AM.  
  
Early morning snack.  
  
God damn I'm hungry.  
  
Shit, I had juice for dinner. And not a lot of juice either. After spilling it and taking the letter from her, I ran up to my room with the drink, spilling more of it on the way up on the stairs.  
  
What the fuck is her problem? Why does she see her own brother as a obstacle. And Gaz doesn't like obstacle courses, she just uses a sledge hammer to get them out of her way. And I'm in front of her, and all she ever does is swing. And takes out her fury onto me, usually aiming and hitting my head. Once she cut off my scarily scythe like hair......  
  
I fucking don't want this anymore. Something must be done............  
  
..............Er... Get some food.  
  
....Yeah, sounds good.  
  
I'm in the kitchen and being as quiet as is possible for me, and due to my weight and concentration, that's pretty quiet. I turn on the light.  
  
....  
  
Why....? What.... is this?  
  
...  
  
She's asleep.  
  
In.... the..... F u c k i n g............. Kitchen!  
  
Is she trying to make me die?  
  
My eyes fall onto the kitchen knives in the corner.  
  
......  
  
No.  
  
I couldn't murder anyone. And even if she doesn't realise it, she's my sister.  
  
...  
  
Maybe if I'm quiet.....  
  
I tiptoe over to one of the cupboards and I pray it doesn't creak like I'm in some old B-movie. It doesn't.  
  
Thank God for that....... There's nothing in the cupboard. Fuck you God.  
  
Fuck this, there's gotta be a store open or something.  
  
I silently retreat to my room, and get dressed fully, grab my trench coat and exit, making sure to close the door without creating a noise.  
  
I need something to eat.  
  
And no-one's getting in my way.  
  
-  
  
Two fifty three AM.  
  
Stars are pretty only when you havn't been there.  
  
At this time of the planetary orbit, I don't even need to wear my disguise. I can leave my 'house' and if anyone sees me..... whoever they may be, they assume it's fancy dress. A human thing. I don't care for it, but it helps me.  
  
I need something to digest.  
  
.....  
  
As I walk, I look up at the stars, and think about what Dee meant, what she's gonna do.  
  
Is she going to assassinate me?  
  
Or is she going to recreate Tak, but instead, succeed?  
  
No, she's not that vain.  
  
She lives to serve the Tallest, so it would either be their plan, or they tortured a Vortian into creating a plan for them.  
  
Hm, doesn't matter, it'll turn out bad for me in any scenario.  
  
....  
  
... They said they didn't care anymore.  
  
Then....... What are they planning now? It must be Dee. She wants my existence erased, and she's manipulating the Tallest for her own endeavours.  
  
The thing is, why now? She's had more than copious amounts of time to exact revenge for what I did to her, and after the years of my absence, she decides now is the time? What is so special about now?  
  
Riddle after question after query.  
  
I can only assume that I will find out what I think when she arrives.  
  
...  
  
I turn round a street corner and head for a convenience store, which aren't really that convenient at all. Humans just like to make things sound better. They like to shortcut. If it seems easier, then it's the choice they take. They don't like to think, just let someone else decide what is right and what is wrong. If it's easier, then they'll take the choice.  
  
It's really a matter of sloth. Which I believe is a sin.....  
  
.....Fuck, I got all preachy.....  
  
Punch yourself....  
  
Agh...  
  
Stop being human!  
  
..  
  
..  
  
Ah, food.  
  
At least, human food. It's a fuckin' good thing I can adapt over the years, or I would have died by starvation...... .....Shitty Irken superiority....  
  
Snacks!  
  
-  
  
Two fifty five AM.  
  
I take it then that you don't like me?  
  
Shit, I barely made it to the store. I had eaten nothing yesterday, I wasn't hungry then. I should have force fed myself.  
  
The convenience store's doors are cold. I should have worn gloves maybe? Nah, fuckit.  
  
I need a microwave burrito or something.  
  
I walk past the cashier and head for the microwave food section. I reach out for Mexican foody stuff and pick it up.  
  
Damn, I must be running on reserved energy or something, 'cause this unhelathy snack feels fucking heavy. I pay for it.  
  
I walk over to the microwave and put it in, set the time and press 'start'.  
  
And wait.  
  
.....  
  
..  
  
The humming of the machine is somewhat annoying and, for the sake of the demons of hunger screaming at me, also taunting.  
  
Hurry up....  
  
....now....  
  
3:31.....  
  
Damn. This is stupid.  
  
So, I'll be the cat, and let's see if curiosity kills me.  
  
I look around the store. It's quite uninteresting.  
  
Magazines. chips. drinks. beer. smokes. cashier. microwave. food. porno on the top shelf. zim. candy. gum.... ...Zim?  
  
I blearily look again and my eyes were not fooling me. Zim is here.  
  
Bastard. Is he following me again? Last time I caught him and broke his leg for it. He said he wouldn't give up his priorities. For some reason, this meant following me and making notes and seeing my reaction to being hit with rocks....... That was a while ago though.  
  
Whoa, shit, he looks really beat up.... Fuck, he ain't wearing his shitty disguise!  
  
I walk up to him at the opposite side of the store, he hasn't seen me yet.  
  
He does when I get about a foot from him and I notice, he wasn't just looking at food, but trying to ignore me. He turned from me when got closer, and tried to move away from me, so I pull on his shoulder and punch him in the face. He falls flat on back, his fucking green bald head cracking onto the floor, making his frail, and come to think of it, easy to brake antennae flail about and then go rigid.  
  
I kick him in the ribs. Or whatever his ugly language calls them. By now the old cashier man is trying to tug me away to help the freak but he's old, so I push him down on the tiles, and his hip brakes.  
  
What the fuck is he doing with a job!?  
  
Whatever.  
  
Zim coughs up blood, while holding his arms around himself, vain little fuckup. His sore red eyes are hidden by his green eyelids, and now I think about it, it looks odd, like it's the first time I've ever seen his eyes closed.  
  
I kick him again and again and again and again, knowing full well what it's liked to be physically pained. And my steel tipped boots do more damage than normal.  
  
I hate you Zim.  
  
....  
  
Bing!  
  
Ah, my burrito!  
  
I waltz on over to the heating device and an overwhelming sense of happiness clouds my senses. I can hear nothing but my heart beating.  
  
I take the greasy food from the microwave and bite down upon it's hot content and burn my mouth, yet I don't care. I feel renewed from kicking the shit out of Zim. I feel kind of sorry about hurting some old guy who thought he was doing some kid a favour, but he can't do anything about it now.  
  
I walk round the cashier desk, open the cash register and pay what I owe, then use the phone near me to ring for an ambulance. Not for Zim, oh no. The old man deserves to be helped, he isn't Irken. After all, I know how quickly that bastard reject heals. He'll probably have left by the time the medics arrive.  
  
But it felt like such a high.  
  
I was soaring.  
  
As I gleefully exit the store, I look back and my hearing seems to have made a comeback.  
  
Zim is mouthing something.  
  
.....  
  
I...... for..give....... you...... Dib.....  
  
....  
  
I stand perplexed.  
  
Then I kick him as hard as my matchstick legs will allow, then walk away.  
  
He stole my happiness.  
  
Bastard.  
  
Looks like the cat won this time.  
  
-  
  
Three 'O two.  
  
A little green omen..  
  
Gir walked on his little doggie limbs along rooftop to rooftop, jumping the gaps between the houses with ease. After a while he stopped on a rather crooked house. A green house.  
  
The little quadruped judged the distance from roof to ground and half fell half leaping down to the grass. He peformed a little rolling tumbling when he hit the bottom and stopped while upside down, resting on his large head.  
  
"meeeeow!" Gir smiled.  
  
He rolled onto his legs and hands and skipped through the door, which always opened for him automatically.  
  
The small, furry, emerald coloured dog walked into the kitchen.  
  
With one of his paws, he opened the fridge, executed a jump, grabbed a can of dog food, landed and then closed the door.  
  
If anyone other than his owner were to watch this, they would think:  
  
"wow, what a clever doggie! yes you are! Yeeees you arrrrre! Yep yep, you is a smart widdle doggie woggie oobie doobie shloopy koopie dee dee dooooo!"  
  
.......  
  
Particularly if they were human.  
  
Well, not everyone would think like this, but a lot of the idiots in this city would, because their IQ, if tested, would probably score just less than a cheese sandwich.  
  
The canine opened a drawer and removed a can opener.  
  
"ooooh, you is sooooo cuuuute!!"  
  
The canine emptied the can's contents onto the floor.  
  
"heeee heeee haa hee ahah heeee!!!!"  
  
The canine ate the cylinder shaped 'food'.  
  
"Gyaaaah ha ha ha heeeeeee hooo eeet izz sooooo cute! Looookit at iz widdle tail!!"  
  
The canine belched noisily and lazily proceeded to walk over to a couch in the main room, climb onto it and promptly fall asleep.  
  
By now a humans' levels of cuteness would have reached maximum capacity, and being unable to house the cuteness within themselves any longer, their heads would have exploded.  
  
So, it's just as well that no human was watching Gir do all this, because no-one would want to clean it up in the morning, or ever.  
  
-  
  
Three nineteen.  
  
What?  
  
.... .. .. .. ....... . . .......  
  
Mhhhhmmmm.........  
  
.....d......dd....ib.......  
  
......d....i....b......  
  
...mhhhh.... s... orrry......  
  
..........  
  
...  
  
.....Huh?....  
  
I woke up. What time is it? Three.... nineteen...  
  
I'm.... in the kit... kitchen....  
  
uh..... Why's the light on..? I must have left it on.... somehow....  
  
.... Christ... it's freezin'....  
  
Bed.....  
  
As I got up... I wondered why I decided it was better to go to sleep in the kitchen.....  
  
I remember........ Level twelve mision nineteen..... it was a hard boss.....but I did it. Had to hit one tiny crystal on it's head and... you could only hit it when he smashed into the generator..... but you have to not get hit when he does it... or you lose almost half your health....  
Then..... I.... saved it..... and I remember. I suddenly got very annoyed and smashed the console. Shit.  
  
...  
  
I walked groggily up the stairs and into my room. Sure enough, my latest and most expensive gaming machine was now in pieces.  
  
Shit.  
  
I was getting angry again. I tried to remember why I had thought it was a good idea to sleep in the kitchen. I left my room and slammed open Dib's door...  
  
He wasn't there.......  
  
Oh fuck...  
  
This is me.... I did this.... He's left..... It was me that..... He's gone.... forever.... he hates me.... I hate me.... fuck fuck fuck fuckf cufkc fuckf fnfk....  
  
I fell onto my knees and my head rested against the wall just outside Dib's room. I started sobbing....  
  
Me.... I started to cry.... I knew this would happen....... Fuck emotions...... They do this to everyone.... you don't know what you've got until it's gone..... it's fucking true.......  
  
You're gone...... forever.....  
  
And then I remembered why I was in the kitchen....  
  
The knives, I said aloud......  
  
...  
  
......  
  
.......  
  
"What about them?"  
  
I looked up. Tears blurred my vision. I thought I saw someone with raven hair and big glasses.  
  
Dib? I asked.  
  
"Gaz, what's wrong?" he asks. If only I could tell him.  
  
And then, something I didn't expect happened.  
  
He knelt down and hugged me. He did it very reluctantly. I could tell he was extremely nervous about it, it felt like he had never given anyone a hug before, but then again, I had never received one, so it worked out about right  
  
....  
  
Emotions.  
  
Everyone can try to suppress them.  
  
Teenagers try it all the time, but it's impossible.  
  
I forgot what it was like.  
  
As we sit here, I know I fell asleep, because I saw my mother again.  
  
This time, she had a gun.  
  
This time, she was shooting an infant Dib.  
  
Why am I having this dream?  
  
It's got to be the emotions.  
  
Yeah, emotions.  
  
Find something or someone else to blame.  
  
If you're me, then it's worked 'til now......  
  
-  
  
Three twenty five AM.  
  
comprehension.  
  
I staggered back to my home.....  
  
Staggered? More like painfully crawled my way back to my house, where I could heal properly.  
  
I may heal much faster than humans, but it still fucking hurts.  
  
But, despite Dib's hatred which I have now confirmed, I still forgive him.  
  
After all, who could want to be friends with a disgusting green alien...  
  
...  
  
I really hurts.  
  
Dib's boots had metal on them. Makes a good weapon.  
  
Shit. I'm bleeding again. I must have stretched the skin where it's trying to heal over. My house is round this street......  
  
....ugh...  
  
..ow...  
  
There..... at the end.....  
  
Eventually after much cursing, bleeding and using one hand and legs to crawl my way to the end of the street, I make it to my door, and wish for the umpteenth time since Dib's outburst of rage, that my pak's legs still worked.  
  
The door swings open... And I crawl in and climb onto the sofa.  
  
I fight the urge to turn on the TV, and see Gir lying on his back, with a grin on his face and drool slowly flowing from the sides of his mouth.  
  
I close my eyes and think about anything. Anything to take my mind away from the pain, until it heals enough for me to move porperly and go find some painkillers. Irken ones.  
  
My thoughts quite instantly think about Dib. I usually do that anyway, but these are about what happened earlier.  
  
And I remembered the ambulance coming for tht old human Dib hurt. Ha, everyone who has ever wanted to help me end's up getting hurt. That old male is the second. At least with the senior, it was me that was made to be the one to get hurt. I remebered Dee.  
  
She was beautiful, By Irken standards. She wanted to be known for her skills, not by her appearance. Shame, it led her to believe my false promises............  
  
....Oh shit.  
  
That's it.  
  
That's it exactly. How I betrayed her like that, told the authorites about what she was doing, what I told her to do. And scarred her oh so beautiful face.  
  
She really is going to kill me.  
  
....  
  
Ouch.  
  
I look down and the bleeding has stopped but it still stings quite smartly.  
  
I go back to reminiscing.  
  
No, she'll want to humiliate me first, then kill me. And she'll want every single Irken to know that she was not to blame. She'll want to prove it was me.  
  
...  
  
I'm fucked.  
  
Not good.  
  
She'll want to show that I was the one, then she'll tell how easy it was to capture me and then, in front of the Tallest, she will blast my brain out of my skull, with a high powered cell rifle of some variety. Yes, I've figured it out.  
  
That's what she wants.  
  
......  
  
I just hope she hurries it the fuck up.  
  
I've got nothing left anymore. And if she does kill me in front of the Tallest, I'll hopefully be able to spit on them and shout my last few words I Am Zim! in front of them.  
  
Heh.  
  
That would be fun.  
  
-  
  
Whatever time Dee is using. AM maybe.  
  
Subtitle missing.  
  
Yes sirs, I am presently heading toward the docking bay and am proceeding to board my Voot Speeder.  
  
I listen to their silly little efforts to thank me, and all I think in my mind is  
  
'You stupid tall morons. You don't know how to run an empire, you're just taller than everybody else. This is a fucked up democracy. Things should work by actually achieving them. Like me.'  
  
But I say, Thank you my Tallest, I won't let you down.  
  
"we know you won't" one of them says. I don't care which one, they're both idiots.  
  
I bid them good day on my communicater on my wrist and switch it off.  
  
I get gasps and whispers that I am not meant to hear as I walk past sliding doors and into the docking bay. These inferior Irkens.  
  
It would be different if Zim hadn't....  
  
They would all think that I would still be beautiful. Irkens reproduce through technology, but our views on beauty are just like other species.  
  
Fuck you Zim.  
  
I will make you pay. The whispers never stop. The Tallest are the only ones who are kind, in the sense that they see how skilled I am, but they're the ones I had to use in my own way. Poor stupid bastards.  
  
Shut up. My thoughts scream.  
  
I scream at some technicians. They weren't even talking about me, but they were closest. Everyone is now quiet. Staring at me.  
  
Get back to work or everyone one of you little puny cretins will be sent to Blorch! I scream at them, and since they know I have the power to fulfil my threat, they get back to work.  
  
Seeing them scared is good for me.  
  
Now to depart. I jump into my thin maroon coloured vessel. To use this Speeder, you have to lie down on your front and put your arms forward, onto the controls. It's very uncomfortable, but the time it takes to get from here to Zim and his ape inhabited 'Earth' would be about three months as the Voot Cruiser flies. I need to get there in a day.  
  
And my Speeder can and will do that.  
  
I push an array of buttons and twist a few dials to start and power up the Speeder, and adjust the settings to how I prefer them, and the Speeder lifts off the metallic ground by a metre and hovers for a few seconds.  
  
This is where these lower life forms see how my genius come into play.  
  
Normally a speeder would travel faster than a Cruiser, but would only be used as a hasty escape. They were manufactured for places like here, where about ten or so individuals might need to get out very quickly, whatever the setting. I.... changed mine.  
  
I installed various features, one of them being Molecule splitting accelerator.  
  
They all said it would rip me and the Speeder to shreds.  
  
Fuck what they know. I'm smarter than all of them.  
  
All I had to do was send all of the energy to the engines and reroute all of the extra power that would normally instantly make the ship implode, through two large exhaust pipes. These MSA engines were built for very large ships, perhaps as big as the Massive, but I created my own smaller version, using the same fuel.  
  
Granted, if anyone is standing behind my Speeder when the Engines begin their routine, then they will be vaporised.  
  
I look back.... I can't see a lot, due to the lack of space, but I can see that there is a group staring at my modified machine...... behind me.  
  
I push a red button on the far left corner, and I can hear nothing but an almighty roar of the machine's added MSA engine, then a flash of light...  
  
UGH!  
  
....And then I am being hurtled through the opening of the dock and through space. Passing planets and stars and galaxies at a time....  
  
Fuck I wish I had a religion!  
  
I'm going so fast, I don't even laugh about killing those techs in the bay.  
  
Shit.  
  
I knew I needed to be fast to reach Earth in a day, possibly two, but this is too hard!  
  
It feels like my brain is going to burst, my eyes are fighting to stay open and my teeth are clenched, grinding into each other, fuck, my legs are trying to bend but can't because of the lack of space.  
  
...  
  
Aaaaaagh!  
  
Ghhhhhh!  
  
I MUST endure!  
  
I have to get my revenge!  
  
I must kill zim!!  
  
-  
  
Four thirty six AM.  
  
What's wrong?  
  
That was a shock.  
  
I came home after pummeling Zim, and found Gaz crying by my door. I've never seen her cry before. She looks.... different when she cries, vulnerable, like her invisible shield of hatred is gone.  
  
I wasn't really sure of what to do, but found myself giving her a hug.  
  
I've never given anyone a hug before, at least, anyone I can remember. Maybe my mother, but she left when I was about five. My mother looked a lot more like Gaz, whereas I look a lot like Dad.  
  
It's odd, but I guess I can't remember enough about our mother, there aren't any pictures, for some reason.  
  
Dad said he lost them.  
  
.......  
  
sigh.  
  
And sigh again.  
  
....  
  
Gaz is asleep. After sitting on the landing by my door for about half an hour in silence, she fell asleep, so I put her into her bed.  
  
It was odd.  
  
Her newest computer console had been destroyed, but I don't think that's why she was so upset. Even she didn't love games enough to cry over a broken machine.  
  
She's got plenty anyway.  
  
.....  
  
I'm on my bed now.  
  
Staring up at the ceiling.  
  
The squares of where posters used to haunt do actually create a nice effect. If I had a friend, I'd tell them I did it on purpose. But that is not the case.  
  
......  
  
Sleep sounds good  
  
I turn to my side and reach for the lamp.  
  
I switch it off, and the darkness feels soothing. Like being blind means you don't have to deal with it. You can't see the problem, then there is no problem.  
  
Unfortunately, this is not the case either.  
  
At least in sleep I can get some rest.  
  
.....  
  
....  
  
...  
  
..  
  
.  
  
Sleep ensues.  
  
-  
  
Six AM.  
  
Early morning nightmare.  
  
Where am I? The universal question everybody asks in those old films.  
  
What's going on? Ditto.  
  
I can see something up ahead.  
  
All around me is just black. I walk on an invisible path until I reach a corridor. The hallway is wallpapered with blue skies and white fluffy clouds, and the floor is a carpeted. I walk into it and feel.... nice. I feel younger and full of energy.  
  
I look down....  
  
......?.....  
  
I'm very young. Infant aged. Instantly the hallway looks huge, like it stretches away forever.... oh... it does....  
  
I look behind me and the blackness from which I came is gone and now it's just a wall, wallpapered the same as the others. I walk forward and I can hear jack-in-the-box music playing, over and over.  
  
My now little legs don't take me very far or fast, and I racing towards the end of this eerie place. I keep on tripping and stumbling and getting back up, and something about all of this seems wrong, different, out of place, call it what you want, but it isn't how it should be.  
  
I trip again and my pudgy little hands push my violet hair out of my face.  
  
I look up with little sorrowful eyes. I'm trying to find mother.  
  
She'll make it better.  
  
She'll hush the world to be quiet for me.  
  
She'll make it right.  
  
But she's nowhere. I can't find her. Where is she?  
  
I try to speak but I can only talk in garbled words, and rivulets of salty water run down my chubby little cheeks.  
  
"mrma!" I try to shout out, but I can't say it right. She must have disappeared because I can't shout for her to come to me. She must hate me.  
  
I fall over again and I can't get back up.  
  
I hear someone running past me. I look over my shoulder and a child Dib runs down the way I came. He must have not noticed me. Otherwise he would have picked me.  
  
He vanishes into darkness down the corridor.  
  
The blackness has come back.  
  
I cry out for Dib to come back, get away from the dark, but I get nothing but the advancement of the offending shadows.  
  
It keeps getting closer and I can't move at all. My energy is depleted and I just feel helpless.  
  
"waaagh!" I scream. And scream again. And the nothingness keeps on coming closer.  
  
Inch by inch, I can see nothing in it. It engulfs the corridor as it moves, first blackening it, then just making it disappear. I cry out again.  
  
And again.... and again..  
  
........and again.......  
  
It's almost at my feet, and I clench up, rolling into a foetal position, my eyelids shut tight, and mouth closed, I have no teeth.  
  
I feel like..........  
  
...I'm being picked up..  
  
I open my eyes and the darkness is retreating rapidly, back down the corridor. I feel happy again, and am comforted by someone, embraced in their arms.  
  
But it isn't my mother.  
  
It isn't Dib's mother.  
  
It's our father.  
  
He isn't wearing his lab coat, so I can see his face, and he isn't wearing his goggles, so I can see his eyes.  
  
He should wear his lab coat less often...  
  
Dib is standing next to him, the small Dib, tugging on his shirt.  
  
Our father kneels down and Dib takes a look at me.  
  
He smiles.  
  
He says something, but I can't hear him.  
  
I'm falling asleep....  
  
....Everyhting is going dark, but this is a good dark. It's the darkness just before you fall asleep.  
  
I feel good again.  
  
I don't even care about mother now.  
  
She can go to Hell.  
  
I am content.  
  
.....  
  
I then wake up.  
  
I drowsily look at myself, to make sure, and I'm back to normal.  
  
I lean onto my side and look at the clock.  
  
It's...  
  
-  
  
Chapter End  
  
AN: Well, what do you think? Review and tell me. If you didn't like it, tell me why, if you liked it, tell me what part you liked. C'mon, click the fucking button. 


	5. Morning part two

Chapter 4 part two.  
  
Close enough to our galaxy to be Seven AM.  
  
Ignorant pain.  
  
AAAAGH!! My vocal chords are throbbing with pain and exhaustion! This was a stupid thing to do! I said I could - AGH! - take it, I said I could do this, but they were right they were right right right !  
  
FUCK!  
  
I cry out again and again! Shit it feels like my knees are going to brake inside out and snap into pieces! Ever since I started the engines this has be.. been-AAGHK!! My eyelids are weak from the clenching, the limited amount of space is hard for me to move, I can't do anything but try to turn off the engines!  
  
AA-CAGHK!! My throat!! It hurts so much! My legs are going to explode with fire!  
  
Why am I so arrogant, it's a stupidness I could only imagine from ZIIIIAAAAGGGHH!!  
  
...My.. My vision is blurred horribly by my tears! Tears!! Irkens don't cry! It isn't programmed!  
  
Why do I cry!? Not just now! AAHSHIT! Every part of me hurts from the continual force, I can't reach the top right of the control panel to turn the two.... AH!.... two keys for the shut off!  
  
..... The hot tears... burn.... my skin is hot and prickly... it hurts me further..... What will be the p.. point of getting to Zim half dead, if not.... GAH! ...dead already!  
  
I'm wishing.... for a planet or meteor to smash into me... but I know... AAGH!! Our technology ensures my clear path! Fucking intelligence!!!  
  
If I can't- SHIT- reach the... keys... I smash straight through Earth... and I ....won't.....get ... revenge!!  
  
...  
  
AAHHGK!!!  
  
And it's then when my shut-eyes reopen sorely and suddenly, I realise my legs, or more to the point, my knee caps are busted and ripped off. The pain..... is ...  
  
...  
  
Sick.  
  
Bone on bone, goo and blood spurts and collects inside and then outside my lower clothing, forming as a pool at the back of the cockpit, by my boots.  
  
I am silent.  
  
The accursed engines which have brought me such torture, my accursed engines, my brain which has brought me such torture, now have rendred me silent.  
  
The sounds now are only the roaring engines.  
  
I feel....  
  
.........I'm going to vomit.  
  
At least...  
  
I make the motions.  
  
But it stays in my stomach, the force keeps it there.  
  
I lie in the horizontal cockpit, my knees have exploded, and I'm retching with no outcome.  
  
......  
  
And I do it again. I start again with the screaming. This is pain. It's not nice.  
  
Is this what I did to the many prisoners of my torture?  
  
AAAAGGGGGHHHHHHKK!!!!  
  
The piercing scream, even with the engines, hurts my ears.  
  
I must.... MUAAASSSTT!! SSHIT! Turn off the engines!  
  
...  
  
The tears are now red. Staining my face. But my face is already permantly stained. Have my eyes exploded too? No. I can still see, even if it is hazy and crimson. I reach up half-blindly with whatever reserves of energy I could possibly have, my muscles are straining terribly, my thin arms wobbling madly with effort. It's hard. Difficult...  
  
Excruciating...AAAAAFFFUCK!  
  
My left arm falters and falls back down to my side, due to the intense gravity, but my right arm is still there, by my own amazement. I have to reach it, just a few... more.... AAGH!  
  
I feel the first, closest key and with some effort, switch to the left, and I hear an immense great mechanical sigh, of the first engine powering down, and I can already feel the gravity and force decrease, and it is easier to reach the second key.  
  
I turn the second key, the pain still ringing like a siren in my brain.  
  
I have a migraine.  
  
And then I have.... done it... My head smacks onto the floor of the cockpit, a very small distance but it still feels like pain.  
  
.........  
  
......  
  
.............  
  
...  
  
.......  
  
Oh... shit..... my knees.....  
  
my eyes.....  
  
Irk...en.... heal..ing... won't hel..p... much... no..w........  
  
And I pass out...  
  
....  
  
Thank whatever I believe in.....  
  
-  
  
Eight twelve AM.  
  
Series  
  
The warm streams of water raining onto my skin... feels so good. For the first time...  
  
For the first time in such a long time.... in any time.... I feel good about myself....  
  
And it comes from a dream.... I feel perfect.  
  
The warmth is soothing. I feel content. Like me and Dib could finally get along, like I can put my stupid mother  
  
behind me, and at last accept that it was her fault, not Dib's, that she left.  
  
And for the first time in a long time, I smile.  
  
......  
  
It's perfect.  
  
So..... perfect.  
  
....  
  
.....  
  
I pick up the shampoo, in a hazy drowsy fashion, and squeeze it's contents onto my purple hair, massaging it in.  
  
Again I feel good. This is too good to be a dream. Dreams can't make you feel like you have a future again... at least.. that's the way I see it.  
  
..  
  
Time passes and, after fully washing my hair, and standing in the warm water for a time that lasted for longer than was probably good for me, I hear someone knock on the bathroom door.  
  
And they open it. I was sure I locked it.  
  
.....  
  
Through the misted glass I can see a thin black person, and I know it's Dib....  
  
... But he's holding something.  
  
Something long...... mostly black, and even though I can't see it properly, it looks like a metal pipe or... a gun of some type.  
  
I call out, Dib what are you doing, I'm using the shower! but he must not have heard me. I turn it off, and he's now at the misted shower door.  
  
What the hell is he thinking!?  
  
He can't see me in here!  
  
I can now confirm what he is holding.  
  
He raises it and pumps it once, I hear it click click, just like in some film, and he steps back.  
  
I realise what he's about to do, and as he opens the door, taking away the comforting warmth, revealing me, he points the shotgun at my crouching form.  
  
I ask... Why?  
  
He does not respond.  
  
.....  
  
BLAM!  
  
.........  
  
.......  
  
....  
  
..  
  
Have you ever died in a dream? What about in a dream where you were dreaming that you were awake, died and woke up to realise you were dreaming after all?  
  
It scares the shit out of you, not only because you thought you had just got murdered by your shotgun wielding brother, but mainly because from then on you can't actually tell what's real and what's a dream... or a nightmare.  
  
If you jumped to your death... or cut your wrists... or overdosed...  
  
...Would you wake up?  
  
This time I did.....  
  
It's eight forty four....AM...  
  
And I get out of bed and walk towards the window....  
  
I want to test my theory...  
  
Is this a dream?  
  
-  
  
Nine AM  
  
Objection  
  
Hah. Hahahaha!  
  
Laughing. It's nice in small doses. I have only just learnt of this.  
  
I've never had a good reason to laugh about anything, other than when I used to crush Zim, but that was always kind of forced.  
  
Now I laugh with good reason. Haahahahah! Heehaahahha!  
  
I am happy.  
  
Lying in my bed.  
  
Staring, once again at my patchwaork ceiling. Ha.  
  
Ha....  
  
Yesterday... it plays back in my mind, every bit of it. College, Zim, walk home, Gaz freaks me out, I stay in room, go to store, mexican food, old man, Zim, beating Zim to a pulp, old man hurt, Zim on the floor, walk home, see ambulance on the way, get home, have a revelation with Gaz...  
  
And now I'm laughing.  
  
Hahahaha!  
  
Yesterday's events were.... a turning point.  
  
I know, yes I know that now, things will be better.  
  
Zim will shut up or die now that I have given him fear.  
  
Gaz and I will be better siblings, we'll talk, go places together, buy eachother gifts on holidays, be a real family... minus father.  
  
..... I'll work on him next.  
  
..  
  
....  
  
Ha ha ha.... I'm in a hell of a good mood, and pretty due too.  
  
I havn't felt this good since..... I can't recall.  
  
.....  
  
I start to hum some little catchy theme tune I've heard from somewhere, and just sit on my bed. I should probably have a shower.... soon..ish.  
  
.......  
  
..........  
  
It always gets worse.  
  
I hear, from down the hall, someone open a creaky window. It's Gaz, she's the only one in the house.....  
  
I start to get up....  
  
And I hear.....  
  
How to describe it....  
  
.........  
  
A THUD.  
  
-  
  
Nine twenty nine AM.  
  
Making it up as we go along.  
  
Down an alley, around a building corner, in the city, a little green canine casually walked along the dirty rubbish strewn concrete. If anyone was around to hear it, they would have heard it humming to itself.  
  
Moonlight Sonata.  
  
And someone was around to hear it.  
  
This was a bad part of the city, after all.  
  
A homeless man, clothed in ragged, shades-of-brown, various items of clothing, was sitting with his filthy back against the brick wall. His head lifted when Gir walked past, walked back to the foul smelling man, circled around himself and fell asleep right in front of him.  
  
The old man, being interested in things he had never seen before, offered the little pup some of his liquor, pulling it from one of the many pockets on his person.  
  
With his little eyes closed, Gir's head lifted, sniffed the air, and sipped the little puddle of brown ale.  
  
Gir coughed.  
  
Anyone else might have thought this was cute, for an animal to do. Well, anyone with a home. But the hobo laughed a wheezy laugh, and took a great gulp of the throat burning alcohol. When the man lowered his head from his drink, the little dog had changed.  
  
The man's smiling, unshaven face transformed to one of open mouthed surprise. But in a way that still made him look ugly.  
  
Gir, upon sipping from the puddle of fermented liquid, had somehow....remembered something.  
  
Something that was important, at least, to him.  
  
Gir now properly stood on two little feet, with his arms by his side.  
  
His eyes looked fierce, angry, squinted, instead of the content look of happiness.  
  
Then, and this was what made the poor man really rethink his life, Gir unzipped his skin and revealed himself to be, in fact, a robot, with dark red eyes.  
  
The man, sat rigid, mouth wide open, and stuttered "W-w-wha... f...fu..fuc..k?" The little automaton took three small steps forward, jumped onto the man's folded knees, and now was centimetres from the hobo's face.  
  
Gir did not have a nose. Sometimes this was bad, other times, like now, it was a very very good. In tones of mechanical seriousness, Gir spoke.  
  
"Human..... Where is Zim?"  
  
-  
  
Nine thirty AM. Time for the Nine Thirty News!  
  
The news presenter, a young perky blonde women, read the morning news from JVIZ* News station.  
  
"And today's ultra fresh, really new news" her voice squeaky and high pitched "A homeless man was seen being horribly mutilated by a small puppy, which changed into a robot, by another homeless man!" She was almost childlike. "we go to our live reporter, Ted McCulky. Ted."  
  
"Thank you" the half bald man tried to sound serious and held his microphone to his mouth, in the hopes of looking professional, but just looked like someone trying too hard.  
  
"Yes, we have here the man here who actually saw this happen. But before we talk to him, let's just see what the carnage looks like." The camera pans over to the wall, covered in guts, organs, gore, blood, bile, bone, and other various products of the body. And on the floor ran the same wonderful décor, but with the addition of broken shards of glass. Most of all this was singed or heated onto the wall and floor.  
  
"Yes, a gruesome sight indeed.... And now, the man that is the sole witness. Sir?"  
  
The man who was the sole witness jerkily looked up. He was obviously very spooked by what he had seen. Even in his state of drunken awareness, he sobered up instantly when he saw his friend, Ronny, be ripped apart and beamed to death by a puppy, green nonetheless, that turned into a little robot, by unzipping it's skin.  
  
"W... what?"  
  
"Sir, could you describe what you saw?"  
  
The hobo, whose name was Oxford, for reasons unknown, went pale as the thoughts replayed again and again. He shook his head vigorously, grey hairs falling from nook and cranny of his head.  
  
"Oh..." The reporter hadn't really thought of this. He expected the old man to go through every detail, and earn himself some sort of award, like: Greatest Reporter Ever For Some Reason. "Erm... Well, this was Ted McCulky, hoping to find out more as the gentleman calms down. He smiled for what seemed like an age, and stood motionless. The report was meant to take a little more time, but the abrupt ending left the blonde still applying makeup to her already caked face. She quickly threw down her little set and smiled at the screen as the cameras returned to her. In her haste, she had accidently trawled a mark of lipstick down her chin.  
  
Up in the control room, the manager was not happy. *  
  
Two people were fired for 'Incompetence'.  
  
-  
  
Ten fifty six AM  
  
Oh dear, it's happened again.....  
  
I woke up..... Again... Oh fuck... I've been through this.... Over and over and over tenfold forgotten forever....  
  
I've slept, something, genetically, I am not meant to do... ever..... But I do this almost every night.... An eternal curse as long as I am here.....  
  
....On my.. secret mission.....  
  
Bastards....  
  
...  
  
And I always wake up on the couch.... even when I've fallen asleep in the remains of my redundant lab.... I wake up here. On the couch... facing up... at the ceiling of wires, mostly broken and hollow....  
  
Just like the fucking freak looking up at them....  
  
.....Gir's gone......  
  
Who cares.... what harm could he possibly cause now?  
  
I get up... what's new?  
  
But today is... Saturday? Yes. Yesterday....  
  
....Was.. Friday..... How eventful...  
  
I... left the college... and.... a blur.... my memory... I don't remember anything that happened between leaving the college and getting the shit kicked out of me.......  
  
........  
  
By Dib....  
  
...  
  
Bastard.........  
  
I stand.... And feel very hungry, so I walk into the kitchen..... It hasn't changed since I arrived.... except for the hole in the floor. A trash receptacle used to be there... when I visited the lab frequently... it was my most used mode of transport down... But I destroyed it when I didn't fit... And that was when I still cared.... still cared for the mission... the taking over.... the operation of impending doom unto the lesser forms of life.... All the fucking lies..... I now wonder....... As I lean against the wall, I wince from a slight sting from my abdomen area, the thoughts from last night... Dib... beating me.... he doesn't care....  
  
... Did anyone ever actually believe.... who made up all those lies.... Irkens weren't superior, we just had a better planet, a better start. Better land, rich with minerals, which we mined with our intelligence, but by then, every being in our solar system had intelligence, but only we had a fruitful planet.  
  
And then the lies made the Irkens... hate.  
  
One Irken started a war with everyone else.  
  
He wanted power... and hatred to go hand in hand....  
  
And he got it....  
  
Bastard....  
  
He told lie after lie after lie, and they believed him. And he was tall. He thought ths was a sign that he was better, unique and biologically advanced than everyone else. Taller than any other Tallest. He used his height to look down on everyone else, and they feared him. He was our Rasputin, our Hitler, our very own dictator, blinded by a fury that was only there because he thought it should be.....  
  
Irkens.... In the Human's English language... to Irk someone is to bother them....  
  
Wow, we are the personifica....tion...  
  
Shut up...  
  
I hit my head in a spontaneous spasm of arm movement, and it hurts slightly.  
  
I've done it again.  
  
I've fucking done it again.  
  
I woke up, felt depressed about my current state of affairs, and then reminisced about my life. About me in genereal.  
  
.......It's so.......  
  
......Human.....  
  
Bastard.  
  
I open the fridge. When I first got one, it was fake, but I needed one to store food.  
  
There are some things that this planet does right.  
  
And although most of their food is processed jank yard sewage covered in preservatives..... a bit like Irken cuisine really..... They have managed to create foods that have given me a feeling of happiness.  
  
But we can only devour so much...  
  
Eating. It fuels your body. Neither Humans nor Irkens know how good some foods can be.  
  
They've never had to truely appreciate it.  
  
I have....  
  
Bastard.  
  
-  
  
Eleven eleven AM  
  
Who gives a fuck?  
  
I'm floating.... In space..... And the pain....  
  
The pain..... I'm numb.... form the pain....  
  
I don't think I'm breathing.... my lungs are.... I don't know.....  
  
I'm..... dying.... I think..... in this cockpit........ it is my tomb.......  
  
No... revenge..... no happiness.... no Zim..... my obsession ever since......  
  
It stays forever on.... the horizon.... glowing.... and I do nt get his blood.... I do not shower in his blood... And the laughs.... haunting melodic laughs.... pushing me down.....  
  
...Fuck.... I think.... I've got a fever....  
  
Haha.......Floating through space.... in a narrow ship.... bleeding immensely..... bled..... my knees rendered into pulp..... and I fail.... again.... and again..........  
  
..........but I am talking..... still...... does that make me.... alive?  
  
I think so.....  
  
But for how long? I'm.... in a state of.... half life.... my genetic advanced healing.....can't save me now....  
  
So now I lie... drifting forwards... in my own invention...  
  
Shit....  
  
My eyes drift up, to look in front of me... and I see through the rectangular screen....  
  
And outside.... are planets... cricling a central star.....  
  
Am I......  
  
Here?  
  
Is Zim.... Here? On the green and blue planet?  
  
Earth?  
  
I'm calling you Zim.... Please call me back.....  
  
I'm going to kill you.  
  
-  
  
One PM.  
  
I am Dib, yes this is the life I live and no I am not happy.  
  
I'm not laughing anymore.  
  
I don't think I will ever laugh again.  
  
My eyes are permanently half closed and I am emotionless. It saves time. If you don't get attached, then when you lose something it won't seem so bad. So, I think that's what I will do.  
  
I will keep myself away, stay away from everyone else, let them say what they will say, and I will just forget them forever, becasue if I can't care for them, they won't mean anything to me. They will be the colour grey. a neutral smudge in my vision.  
  
.....  
  
My sister has a broken neck... and she's in a coma.  
  
Like a stupid TV show.... but I don't watch TV. Even Mysterious Mysterious lost it's point to me.  
  
But now I'm in one, sitting next to my sister, who is sitting in a hospital bed and I look at the dirty white floors and her neck is covered in bandage and plaster and her face is bruised horribly and that bastard hasn't even bothered to come here!  
  
I look in the mirror and see that deserter. He's left us alone for so long, and I realise that I'm surprised that he's not here. And that bastard gave me his fucking face. Even the hair I have inherited!  
  
Emotions. They fucking mess you up. Make you believe that there's something special and then it take it away with added grief.  
  
Emotions. I'll cleanse myself of them.  
  
If Gaz dies, after all this shit, I'll.... do nothing.  
  
I'll feel, but I will not let it show. On the outside I will dedicate myself to being a blank canvas.  
  
And that's it.  
  
.......  
  
....  
  
Her hair... Her violet hair.... Her beautiful violet hair is disgusting now, as it has been ruined by blood. Dried blood turns into a black brown stain, and has turned her once shock of colourful hair into something sick and ugly and perverse. She doesn't look like herself.  
  
What would I know?  
  
I only got along with her for about half an hour...  
  
For now, I decide, I'll keep my emotions....  
  
I want to use my anger....  
  
On Zim....  
  
-  
  
Two thirty PM  
  
Why am I not dead?  
  
.... dot.. dot.. dot...  
  
Drip.... drip...drip....  
  
Fuck....fuck.....fuck...  
  
Mother..... I see you.... you look at me and turn away, with dusgust. Why do I make you angry.  
  
I thought it was Dib you didn't like? Is it me? What did I do?  
  
Tell me and I'll make it right. I'm older now, I'll do anything for you. I can obey, give you anything. I'm older, I can help you. I just want you to love me.  
  
Why can't you love me back?  
  
....  
  
The black, dark nothing has taken me. I fell, and cracked like a porcelain doll. My neck has broken.  
  
...And yet I live? Is this my punishment, for disobeying you, not being what I should have been for you? Am I the personification fo your hatred? If so, did you create me just as an outlet, which you could throw away?  
  
Then it would seem this is your fault?  
  
She hits me hard across the face, hers is contorted and twisted sickeningly into seomthing not resembling a face at all. I fall to the floor, the black invisible floor, whatever I was standing on, I am now sitting on it. She looks at me..... I am wrong. I am always wrong. I am an abortion that lived, I should be dead. I should not have progressed past a foetus. An ugly, flesh-ball of shitty cells, bearing the hate and odium of her life.  
  
Is there anyway for me to say sorry?  
  
NO! She screams at me, spit flying at my face. Her eyes are blood red and her hair is frayed and spiky. Her flesh is raised with veins that throb and pulse oozing poison, fuelling her brain.  
  
And all I want is her to love me.  
  
I beg for her forgiveness, but she swiftly kicks my chin hard and my head flies back and hits the transparent floor, it feels like my scalp has opened and my brain feels like it is on show for medical students.  
  
My bloodshot eyes open and I see a night sky above me.  
  
The setting has changed.  
  
This is a nightmare.  
  
I want my mother back.  
  
Mother, don't leave me.  
  
I scream out for her to come back, for the monster women to come back to me and pick me up....  
  
But she hates me, and I am the child she never wanted.  
  
I slowly get up.... and around me is the neighbourhood.... our neighbourhood... Where I grew up.... where we grew up... me and Dib......  
  
I look at our house... it looks much newer.... And I see her....  
  
She's coming out of the door... she looks younger, but worried and grief stricken... Mother.... don't leave.....  
  
She exits the house and closes the door. I look up as white comes into my view of the upstairs window...  
  
That bastard of a father watched her leave... and let her walk away.... he didn't deserve her....  
  
He didn't care.... he watches as her beautiful thin form walks away, wrapped in a coat, with her head down.  
  
He watches and moves away from the window.... he gave up the best thing in the world.... he caused my loss..  
  
And the door opened again... Does this mean he did try to stop her?  
  
Did he care? Did he want her too?  
  
No. Father doesn't care.  
  
But Dib did.  
  
An infant Dib, with tears streaming down his face, came running from the house and ran after her. He stumbled and fell, hurting his face. And he lay there, sobbing and reaching out for the mother who wasn't his.  
  
He wanted her too.  
  
Like me.  
  
He wanted my mother as well.  
  
We both lost out, because of a father who doesn't want anything to do with us.  
  
....I stand here and watch, and feel cold. I'm only wearing a hospital gown. Thin fabric. I stand and watch the little Dib crawl on the floor, crying and reaching out with one hand, he calls for her, and she keeps walking, and eventually disappears into blackness.  
  
She vanishes, Dib vanishes, the house vanishes and the neighbourhood vanishes.  
  
It's fading away, and I can't do anything, transfixed to the spot. I open my mouth... and nothing comes out.  
  
And all that's left is the darkness.  
  
.........  
  
............  
  
..............  
  
I haven't woke up..... What? This is a nightmare. It hasn't ended!  
  
Dark! I can't see anything!  
  
Oh God!  
  
Mother. Help me please.  
  
I'm drowning in silence and my blindness is torture!  
  
Fuck!  
  
I'm not waking!!  
  
-  
  
Three fourteen PM  
  
Descent  
  
So, Dib, any last words? I am so magnificent! I, the almighty ZIM! Have captured this pathetic earth simian, and there is nothing that it can do! Mwahahahahaha!!!  
  
I AM ZIM!!  
  
"You'll never get away with this Zim!" his retorts are common of these filthy pig faces, they believe they're heroes, they think if they believe enough, they'll win somehow..... stinking humans.... Zim needs no hope! Zim wins with his mighty brains!!  
  
"Any minute now and my fellow Eyeballs will come through that door......" I jump and point at the door, and scream 'Fool! The door cannot protect you!'  
  
The Dib beast looks sceptical, and responds to my superior retort, "I said my fellow Eyeballs..."  
  
'NAY! You're organs are pathetic Dib! Relenquish your life and never bother me or my jiggleeez ever again!!!' I really am so great. I smile a superior Irken smile, and press a button on a remote device, and the table he is strapped to is mechanically pushed up, then faces vertically, then down, so that he is facing my metal lab floor. I can see him squirming like an adult Smorloch, and I begin a maniacal laugh, which I can see makes him fear me! I know this! I am ZIM!  
  
A metal slide... slides from the floor, revealing a pit of revenous fish, known of the peoples of earth for their golden scales..... Dib will perish!  
  
........  
  
......Woo.... the robot arm.. is, eh... kinda slow huh?  
  
The little dangerous earth fish jump hungrily, and Dib is so oozing with fear, he has completely stopped moving and looks bored! Hah, his ugly liquid emotions betray his face of meats! Fear my claws!  
  
Al...most... there...!  
  
.....  
  
Hah.... good times..... at least.... good times only becauseof my ignorance. Forgive my Human, but they say ignorance is bliss. I didn't know about the Tallest's secret about me. When they did tell me, my life was never as eccentric as it used to be.... or quite as.... unplanned.....  
  
...Goldfish?  
  
How the fuck did I think that would work?  
  
...Hah...  
  
....  
  
I'm watching the television again... on my couch....  
  
And Gir is back...........my eyes dart back and forth from him to the TV, and he's coated in blood... dried blood... he looks quite black now....  
  
He's just been sitting there, since about an hour ago.... Not watching anything in particular, just sitting. I got up gingerly, and went into the kitchen earlier. He followed me, and I sat back down... and he followed, and sat with me....  
  
He's never acted like a SIR before.....  
  
-  
  
Chapter Part end.  
  
- - - - - - - - - -  
  
AN: Hmmmm, yes........  
  
This chapter isn't really finished... just ended for now until the next update of the chapter. So I guess  
there will be three parts to chapter four. Yep.  
  
- - - - - - - - - -  
  
*If you think I actually know or care about how a news manager guy works, then you're wrong.  
  
Horribly wrong.  
  
- - - - - - - - - - -  
  
AN again: The third part includes Dee completing her venture to Earth. Dib goes off for a murderous rampage, and Gir protects his master at any and all costs. Meanwhile, will Gaz die? Perhaps. I don't know, I haven't written it yet! 


	6. Winding down the day part three

Chapter Four Part Three  
  
-  
  
Four PM  
  
Welcome to Earth, enjoy your flight?  
  
Inside this shell I lay, waiting and bleeding.  
  
Well, I think I may have stopped bleeding, but I have lost too much.. Mostly from my knees. There is no more pain anymore, just this state of acknowledgement. That I am going to die, floating around the Earth, so close to that rejected pile of filth and yet so far that I will never obtain the one thing I have been blindly obsessing over....  
  
Heh, I lack the ability.. to actually accomplish my one goal...  
  
.... The Earth is.... pretty...swirling...blues and greens.... with Zim....... Zim...  
  
Ugh... if I had anything in my stomach right now I would vomit at my own lack of control over my body and it's ramblings.  
  
I consider what my last options may be. The first one is: Die. What a surprise.  
  
Or, try to stay alive long enough to be dragged.... pretty planet.... Fuck! Long enough to be dragged onto the planet from its gravity...  
  
...I really wish I kept the original engines.....  
  
.....Blues and greens and whites and Zim and zim and zim....  
  
Fuck! Focus.. or die...  
  
And Zim.. won't.. die...  
  
...  
  
Ughhh....  
  
...  
  
Agh!.. No....  
  
I'm barely breathing and my legs feel like mush, I can see what I want but I can't reach it.....  
  
Is there nothing that can propel me? Nothing..? No... there isn't anything that can help me... I'm trapped in a cocoon of metal created by me and it is hopeless....  
  
I stare at the control panel in front of me and it has been dramatically customized to fit my specifications... At the time it suited me, but I did not test it and because of my arrogance, I did not listen to the engineers who knew better. I thought that I was better, superior and because of the way the other Irkens looked at me, they were plotting against me. They were doing nothing but what they were meant to be doing. I changed our proud glorious empire into some carnal vermin ready to pounce on me and my paranoias.  
  
The control panel consists of..... a few screens showing energy input and output, right now reading zero, buttons for adjustments, the two keys for MSA engines and metal plates of where old dials and touch sensitive screens for the old design used to be. I cannot be helped. Out here. I didn't bring any kind of intercom or long distance communicator with me, I thought I would be successful and be back with Zim in tow within a few days. Instead I lie here, on the verge of death and am left with failure. Me. The failure with the scars on her face.  
  
Ruined by Zim...  
  
Zim....  
  
Zim....... zim..... zim.... my face is broken....  
  
They don't think I'm attractive anymore....  
  
My vanity is glass and is broken.... on the floor....  
  
Zimmy... why did you leave me?.... alone... by myself...  
  
....Ah!... alone.. NO!  
  
....Zim...Argh! Stay awake!  
  
.....I missed you Zim.... Agh!  
  
I will... pretty pretty ball....  
  
....sleep.... Zim.....  
  
.....sleep now.....  
  
......with me.....  
  
-  
  
Five twenty two PM  
  
Guillotine 1  
  
I ran out of the hospital, the sick, ugly hospital full of old, dying and poor people who are all unfortunate to have to stay in that godawful place, with it's sterile walls and floors and furniture's and memories, oozing out of it's mass, shouting and crying and pouring out at anyone who enters the building. I ran out and away from it, the depressing womb of foul liquid poison, keeping 'safe' all it's inhabitants. It's the reverse of a real mother's womb. I hate it, and I'm running from it, leaving my sister there, unconscious, alone with nobody but the fetid atmosphere and the bastards that fuel the building.  
  
I'm running, with a red tint over everything, making my surroundings look like blood, running so that I can commit one act that will vent my rage. Vent the red within me.  
  
I ran past streets and houses, past alleys and corners, striding past all manners of people, who scream at me and call me names for getting in their way. They can do nothing about what I am going to do. I am in my control, not them, they are the rats in the sewers. looking up at me and squeaking, and I crush them, they are helpless and hopeless and I am in their control, not the other way around. They cannot stop me.  
  
I am going to do the one thing that could help me be calm about myself, about the situation, about why both mine and my sisters' lives are so wrong, and perverted in the eyes of childhood.  
  
Killing Zim is the only thing that could possibly accomplish this.  
  
I will kill that shit, even if it means killing myself in the process.  
  
He must die, by my hand, now and forever. He will regret ever landing on this shitball of a planet that I call home. That bastard taunted me as long as I have known him, because he could do what I could not. He could easily have left, flown away in his ship and forget everything. But no, he stayed and continued to mock me in every way possible.  
  
And so I'm running to find him and put an end to his little shitty life that made me so miserable. Make him realize what a mistake he really is, to me, Earth, even his own politically incorrect species.  
  
He cannot live.  
  
I will make him see this.  
  
...  
  
I have to stop... for a breather. The rank building I left my sister in is on the other side of town, ever since the first one burnt to nothing. I have to let my lungs recuperate, let my heart slow down and let my legs stop straining. And though I wait for my physical limitations to stop whining, my hate and rage still stays with me. It still makes me eyes see red anger, from every person, building and thing. Like a dog's sense of smell, invading their vision of colour. And I know that when I see Zim, standing in his house, with that ugly face of his, he'll be the reddest colour there is. His silhouette will be red, a shape of Zim in red. I'll rip off his outline and shove into his eye sockets. He will bleed. This time he will not heal. ....  
  
And I'm running again.  
  
........  
  
But not for long.  
  
As I run, I see a brilliant white flash in the sky, as something flames down through the atmosphere....  
  
-  
  
Five Thirty PM  
  
Guillotine 2  
  
As I warily get off the couch and making sure not to disturb Gir, I walk away, towards the door...  
  
And I see a burning bright white, surround everything outside the windows, and I am forced to close my eyes. Gir jumps up, and even he is blinded, so he falls with a 'clunk'. There is silence.  
  
And then, there isn't. Something....  
  
-  
  
Five Thirty three PM  
  
Guillotine 3  
  
.... Crashes to the ground, scraping and rendering the landscape to a small crater. And by my estimate, I guess it landed somewhere near Zim's neighbourhood. Good, as I plan to go there in any case.  
  
I will kill him, and check out whatever the fuck just happened. I'm not that far now, I was running before it landed, I stopped and watched it arch through the sky with an orange glow and everything was silent, until it ungracefully landed, and the cataclysmic noise that followed, gave everyone within a hundred mile radius the distinct, clear image of how it landed and how the land looked when it fell. Or maybe that was just me.  
  
I am running towards it, my body once again screaming at me to stop this physical abuse on such an unfit person. I hate it. It hurts everytime I breathe in and out.  
  
Yet I still run, because I cannot stop now. Curiosity killed the cat, fuck that, death did.  
  
I need to know what was in that thing. I know there are other beings out there, but what kind? More Irkens? I must kill Zim before he gets reinforcement.  
  
Now it's more than a matter of me. I was running because I needed an excuse to help me kick the shit out of something, to take my anger out on someone, anyone. And I chose Zim. Zim, the thorn in my side, will die by my hand.  
  
And I'm still running....  
  
And I start to recognise the streets fully now, The old misspelled 'Skool', various houses and neighbourhoods, that were burned into my brain after hours of sitting and waiting and watching Zim's house for activity... and the cul-de-sac.. And at the end... is Zim and his stupid house...  
  
-  
  
Five forty one PM  
  
Guillotine 4  
  
The light in the air disappeared eventually. But worse was to come when the thing that created the blinding light, hit the earth beneath it. I stared as it moved through the sky, down, further and faster, and eventually I realised it was going to hit this neighbourhood.  
  
I could see it clearly coming, so fast, and yet I stood, staring out of the window by the door. Gir did the same.  
  
Then I noticed. Then it came back to me. It seems like weeks ago, but it was only a day or so, when I first received a message saying that I would meet Dee again. And I remembered when I saw the Irken insignia on the slender tube like ship, a ship I could not identify. But it bore the symbol, an so I stood there waiting for it to smash into the ground, for Dee to jump out and with some advanced laser rifle and blast my head into nothing.  
  
But I see something. I look forward, and Dib has just rushed around the corner.  
  
He looks real pissed.  
  
Excuse my Human.  
  
-  
  
Five forty nine PM.  
  
Guillotine again.  
  
Dee:  
  
I'm.... alive?  
  
I look up and see a rapidly approaching land mass.  
  
Oh... not for lon-  
  
-  
  
Five Fifty PM  
  
Guillotine, ready.  
  
The Speeder crashed through houses on Zim's neighbourhood, past his own house, and smashing into more on the other side, leaving a wake of destructing and mess, along the road and sidewalk and the houses were flung and smashed and raped of their structure, at least. All of this managed to stop the Speeder. If it had been travelling at MSA engine speed, Earth would have a hole through it.  
  
After the noises had died down, Dib and Zim's hearing returned, and all that could be heard was the crying of babies and people and pain of the civilians in their ruined homes. Water splashed and pipes burst; tiles fell from roofs and bricks crumbling to heated dust. The air was polluted with a mist of masonry and brickwork.  
  
A long line of crushed road and homes led to the Speeder. Zim came out of his intact home, while Dib came running at him. Zim did not see, or even realise that Dib was even there, and stood transfixed next to the trench looking trail of evidence that something had landed here. Zim only acknowledged Dib's existence when Dib jumped at Zim, forcing him to the ground.  
  
He punched Zim's head repeatedly, until blood flowed from all facial orifices.  
  
Gir ran to the door, and saw his master being beaten by a human. His memory banks could not retrieve the files of information on this particular one, and following this; he rocketed toward Dib, forcing the tall thin boy off of his master. Zim lay on the crumpled road, bleeding. Dib lay on the crumpled road, after being flung there by a blur of red and metallic grey.  
  
Dee lay in her Speeder.  
  
A small square device on her wrist with a tiny screen wrote out a little agenda, on it the last thing to tick was flashing: Six PM Earth time. Capture Zim and bring back to Irk, to prove my story to them all....... Check, Yes/no?  
  
---------------------------------------  
  
Chapter four Part three end.  
  
AN: That was the penultimate chapter. The last one will be out soon, but until then, reflect on what has happened in this installment. I like writing, and I also like reading what people wrote about the things I write. It doesn't matter what you write, as long as it's something. It takes about, what, three minutes? You read it so review.  
  
PS. Yep, it was shorter but this chapter was basically the ending of chapter four. I wanted the last part to be the last chapter. .... Oh, if you look closely and have a taste in music similar to mine you'll notice what music I was listening to when I was writing some parts.  
  
-  
  
Necrofuckup. 


	7. Guillotine

Chapter Five  
  
Guillotine  
  
-----------------  
  
Zim's point of view for the entire duration of the final chapter.  
  
-----------------  
  
My cells are already healing me and the face of which Dib had struck five or six times. I sit up. A feeling of dizziness overcomes me and I sway gently, but regain my posture. Gir is on Dib's chest on the other side of huge long crater, using his fists. Why doesn't he use his ocular lasers? It would kill Dib instantly, eliminating the threat of which my now 'SIR' like assistant seems to see.  
  
I don't want to see that. Even through Dib's beatings and hatred, I know, or at least hope, that he feels for me. I feel for him, and he would miss me, or my opposition toward him and this planet, if I left. If I could leave.  
  
I would miss him.  
  
I would miss him if Gir killed him.  
  
I unsteadily get up and stumble along toward his form on the smashed road. I don't even realise the gaping chunk of street missing, and I fall down it's pointy, bumpy, concrete and earth strewn side, and I roll into the middle. I raise my upper body with my clawed hands, shaking slightly, and eventually get up and climb up the opposite side. All the time being burnt and pained from the hot linear crater, especially when my head hit the bottom. I make it back onto the road, and reach him. I pull Gir off of his frail, thin and human body. His shirt is torn and his trench coat lies a few feet away. His face is already bruising and blood is running from his mouth. His eyes are closed. I kneel down and listen for a breath.  
  
He lives. I sigh with relief, my own sour, acidic breath escapes from my mouth, near his face. I turn my head and tell Gir to leave and wait inside the house. He salutes and does as he is told. It's the first time since I can properly remember, when he has shown even this level of loyalty- -and then my neck is seized. By Dib. He's conscious.  
  
And his pathetically stick-like hands are crushing my frail neck, making no sense of the actual image. I claw at my neck, and fail to actually do anything. So, I then punch his eye.  
  
It gets him off me. I fall back, gasping for air; he falls back clutching his eye. My melted gloves were covered in dirt, and small pieces of broken concrete. Even for me, that would hurt his naked eyes. I think briefly where his glasses are. He doesn't need them right now, seeing up close to fight is easy for him. But about a metre away and he can't see a thing.  
  
I'm first to sit back up, and I scramble away from him. I don't want to hurt him. After all, he doesn't heal like I do. I eventually stand, and watch as he struggles to wipe away the grime and bits of dirt from his left eye. Hot dirt. Hot specks of diamond dust, against his naked eye. I can't stand here and watch, as I can easily see that he is in intense pain. I turn to run back to the house, and fetch cleaning liquid.  
  
People are gathering now. Police, civilians, neighbourhood residents. This is going to get out of hand- -Shit.  
  
I haven't stepped a foot in the opposite direction of Dib, and before me I see her. High above me, using her arachnid like Pak legs.  
  
I stare, mouth open and hanging, my eyes wide as I gape at her face, full of anger, hate, writhing pain and the scar that I gave her. She looks just like I remember. I still look up at her, like when I knew her, on Irk, when I was small.  
  
And I spy upon her own legs. I take a step back, the reaction of seeing her knees. I can't imagine what the fuck happened to her, but it's extremely recent, like someone took a sledge hammer and pounded her knee caps into a mushy pulp, but didn't tear the fabric of her leggings, so all the blood an mush collected in her bottom clothing, including her boots. It all drips on the hot road. Her breathing is raspy yet hard and menacing. In her hand she holds small laser pistol, which she slowly, shakily raises to point at my head.  
  
I close my mouth.  
  
I shut my eyes.  
  
.....  
  
And run.  
  
.....  
  
I open my eyes and I'm running into a crowd of people, who must think this is some street theatre or something, because they're cheering me, and I'm not wearing a disguise.  
  
And even though I don't have them, I open my ears, and they're not cheering me, they screaming. And amongst all their ugly cries, I hear one, clear significant scream.  
  
I was standing in front of Dib. She fired, and I ran, just in time to miss it. But missing me meant... She shot Dib.  
  
Everything seems to fade away, but my grievance for the one person I could connect with, in a weird kind of way, does not last for long, as Dee is advancing upon me. The pistol is lying next to Dib, where she must have dropped it and her outstretched arms reach madly for me, as if they hunger to rip me apart. And as she speedily races to grab me, I stand on the spot, just in front of the crowd of people. I cannot do anything. The hate in her eyes, her horribly bloodshot eyes, in fact, bloody eyes, eyes covered in blood, make me stand where I am. Her mashed legs dangling, barely attached, probably because of her clothing, are flung back because of the speed of her race towards me. I raise my arms in front of my face instinctively, and turn my head o the right, shutting my eyes and clenching my jagged Irken teeth, waiting for the moment of impact.  
  
And it all flashes back to me.  
  
...........  
  
THUD.  
  
......  
  
Tall metal buildings surround a pair a Irkens. One tall one, and one small one. This opening is akin to a cul-de-sac, but much more closer together. More like an alleyway, in between the towering metal structures. And at the end of this opening, is a circular area, containing a circular hatchway, which led into a sewer system, which, if followed for about a mile, would lead someone into the core building of the power supply for the whole northern hemisphere of a planet known only as Irk.  
  
Looking closer, the two Irkens were arguing. The taller one, a female, spoke loudly and had an angry look on her beautiful face, devoid of any imperfections. She took her appearance as something that made her better than others, because she achieved a lot of attention from her beauty. The smaller one spoke quietly and kept looking around, in case anyone saw them. He was very small in height, and standing next to this other individual made him look tiny and minuscule. Nonetheless, they argued with eachother, as if the different ranks between them meant very little.  
  
"Zim, this is wrong, we'll be executed for this, or worse, sent to Foodcourtia!" She shouted, a slight echo resounding off the metal walls. She continued "How did you ever think this would work!?" Her voice lowering in volume, only by a fragment, as she saw Zim's face clench as he heard the echo of her voice. "Dee, quieten yourself, or I will phase your mouth together! This mission requires stealth!" His arms flailing wildly, and his voice did almost the same at random points of speech. Giving him a completely eccentric, over- the-top look. "Need I remind you, female, that Tallest Miyuki gave us this mission, because of our obvious, and intense greatness!!" The last part making an echo, making him force his hands over his mouth.  
  
"But Zim" Dee responded, shifting her weight "Why would the Almighty Tallest need us? How are we important to this 'mission'?"  
  
"You question the Tallest!!!!" Zim jumped up, grabbed her standard issue shirt and screamed this into her face. She pushed him off of her, and he landed on his rear. He quickly stood back up.  
  
"We are doing nothing wrong!" he said, looking back down the alley. "We are just... changing the ways that Miyuki asked us to infiltrate and seize the felons, inside the power supply. And we will not be sent to Foodcourtia, we will be honoured, and praised, and become kings!!" Dee gave him a confused look, and Zim coughed. "Um... sorta....Anyway, come on, we have to go now." She sighed and followed him to a circular hatch, at the end of the alley, which Zim opened. A sickening stench blasted from the hole, and both Zim and Dee covered their mouths and turned away from.  
  
"Here, put this on!" Zim gasped, as two breathing masks were handed out from his Pak, on mechanical arms. The masks were put on, and Zim jumped in first, with a splash. Dee, reluctantly, followed, making a bigger splash. Using his Pak's mechanical legs, Zim reached up and closed the hatch.  
  
Flash forward.  
  
Zim walked through the waist high goopy water, and making sure that she couldn't hear him, he raised his left wrist to his mouth. A small communicator appeared, and Zim whispered into it.  
  
"Yes, Irken City #2188 Police Enforcement? I would like to request a team of enforcers at the Power supply generator. Yes that's right, yes... yes! Get there right away! A brake in by protesters is about to happen in about thirty minutes! How do I know? uhhh...I'm tailing them, errr, undercover, as one of them. There's two of us. I'm the short one. The taller one is the leader...Got it? Go!" He ended the transmission and continued walking through the slush.  
  
"Did you say something? Zim?" Zim froze, but only for about a millisecond, and kept walking normally... as normally as you can when you're wading through waste.  
  
"Uh, yes.... I... was... talking to my...wrist journal! Yes, that's it. So that our courageous actions can be documented for the media!" He was very pleased with this lie. Zim loved to lie, even if most of them didn't sound too real.  
  
"Oh..... okay.... how much further?" Dee didn't sound reassured, but she had faith in Zim. A faith no one else could possibly have. It was a faith that would cot her, and shape her future.  
  
"Turn a left in about five minutes, and keep going straight.... keep going straight until you reach a ladder, then we go up it. And on to our fame and glory...."  
  
"right... right...." Dee didn't feel right. Zim had been acting strange ever since she met him. But now, he had been acting stranger, as if he were hiding something. But she had her faith in him.  
  
Flash forward.  
  
"Zim! What's going on!?" Flood lights glared at her, as her arms were raised and her face a look of utter shock, she turned to see Zim standing behind her, with a look of pleased disappointment.  
  
"Dee, please understand-"  
  
"Understand what!?"  
  
"Understand, that I, the almighty Zim, must do anything and everything to gain superiority. If I am not to grow, then I must grow my aspects, and my greatness. And Dee...." he got much closer to her, so that he was whispering, "...You were always better, but with this little stunt, you're now a common criminal, and I'm the one who stopped you from plunging half a planet into darkness....." he walked away from her, her face now was a mask of hatred, one that she would use many a time from now on. "Take her away!" Zim commanded.  
  
But before the Enforcers could reach her, she spun round and jumped at Zim in anger. She had never been betrayed before, no one had the heart to do something like this to her, she just looked too nice and beautiful to hurt. But Zim was different. Zim hungered power. He wanted the authority to send legions into battle, at the mere flick of his wrist, anyone would do as he would say and fear and love him. They would do anything for him, and Zim wanted this more than anything in the universe. He needed power, and if he had to betray someone who had befriended him, even with the height difference, then he would do this. Zim would conquer everything, everyone and everywhere. Betrayal.... was nothing. He would be a hero, and the rest would be simple.  
  
She grabbed Zim and scooped him up, due to his smallness, she could easily hold him in one arm. He just sighed and his Pak opened and released his mechanical legs, which poked at her body, and forced her to drop him. She jumped back at him, but he jumped right over her, his mech.-legs extending, she grabbed one while passing. They both landed on the cold metal floor. The machines humming and working in the background, almost muted out what Zim did next. From his Pak, he received two items. A blaster pistol, and a small knife. He looked at her, and said "Sorry Dee." He shot her head.  
  
He then plunged the knife into his abdomen.  
  
When the Enforcers finally arrived to them both, they saw what Zim wanted them to see. A struggle ending with Zim being wounded by a knife, but not actually killed. And Dee, who may or may not make it. The laser went straight through her head, but missed her brain, and just below the eye. Her jaw was mangled, but with modern Irken hospital, she would most likely live, but with tremendous scarring.  
  
And it would all be down to Zim as the hero to say: "It was self defense. I wish she had just come along peacefully. But these things always turn out badly."  
  
And it all flashed back to me.  
  
THUD.  
  
She lands on top of me with a force that only hatred could give birth to. The blood that covers her pours onto me and my face, she screams at me. She screams at me with all the pain inside her, and at the end, she coughs up more blood, probably her vocal chords exploding. With her voice gone, she starts to pummel my face.  
  
And I lay here, being smashed by the one person who I have known the longest. She has the right to do this. I ruined her, so she can do this. I wronged her...  
  
She stopped.... No, she's not on me anymore. I wearily get up and Gir is beating her. This is not Gir's situation, this is mine.  
  
"GIR! Keep... the... House secure!" And loyally, he flies off of her and stands in front of the house's door. She's not moving. I start to run to her, but fall onto the floor, I hear and feel my face painfully cracking onto the broken concrete. A moan slips out of my closed mouth, and as I lay, the flashes of the exact moment I destroyed her life keep playing over and over and over, past my closed eyes. The state in which she is in, make me wonder what things she may have to go through just to get here. She wants her revenge much more than I could ever want anything now.  
  
I get back up. How many times have I got back up from the floor in the past day? Doesn't matter. I stumble, but manage to half walk half run over to her lying form. She looks like a corpse covered in blood. I glance a few feet away and Dib lies dead. Blood has stained his chest like a fountain, and I look back down at Dee. I'm the one who should be dead. I am the one has done wrong to so many people, from all over the galaxies. My past is strewn with individuals who I have scarred, or killed or maimed, in order to get what I want. I am now Selfor, the most selfish being in the universe. Even more so than Kyookaspech, a being I met on Devastis. I shudder at the memory, and shudder again at the memory of what I did to him.  
  
Suddenly, I am awakened from my thoughts, as I hear her croak out words. They sound like gargles, so I bend down to lift her head, to clear her mouth of liquid. Now, I am the only one with her, to hear her last words, before her tortured soul can finally be free from this nightmare.....  
  
......I feel a gun at the left of my head, and her face curls into a disgusting smile. She spits out blood onto my confused face, and it feels hot and sticky. She rises above me on her Pak's legs, all the time looking like she is superior. She probably is. I have no evidence that I am better than her. She has won this time. It's like the day I broke her, but the roles are reversed. Ironic? I think so. My last words? Let me think. "Dee?" I recite her name in a question like manner. She tries to say something, but the fluids keep flowing into her mouth. She coughs it all out, and responds:  
  
"Ye...Yesh?" Her face, her once beautiful face looks the happiest I have ever seen it to be. I change. Change back to Irken. My last words in my native tongue.  
  
"I want you to know, that all the years I have lived her, this has been the most exciting day I have ever lived. And this is one fuck hell of a climax." She looks confused, because there isn't an Irken word for Fuck or Hell. Nonetheless, it was all true. Up until a day or two ago, I have been bored with life, and contemplated ending it myself, because of my lust for excitement. Thanks to the late Dib, and my executor, the last moments of my life have been... fun.  
  
"Szzhim. Teh payne I haf hadt to f... feel." Her speech is hard to understand, but it's bearable. "You...Putsh me fru.... agony!" The last word you could feel, as she coughed it out.  
  
"What can I say Dee. I remembered everything. You deserve your revenge." Her expression changed to confusion, but changed instantly to anger.  
  
"Shzim....Are you... ready ..to.... die?" I nod, all the time staring at her eyes. And I say these words that for no reason I can think of. They appear into my head. And they make perfect sense. It all seems clear.  
  
So I say them.  
  
"Dee, life is as heavy as a mountain...." She looks bewildered, and replies:  
  
"Andsh.... Death?" spraying bloody saliva.  
  
"Death? Is as light as a feather." The instinct to live happens so fast.  
  
I fling my head back, and grab for the pistol. Successfully holding onto it, I pull it away from her broken hand, it fires into the crowd and kills someone. My moment of spontaneous victory is brief.  
  
As I turn it to face her, she screams, releasing a torrent of bodily liquid, and one of her mechanical legs impales me. I fire out of shock. I watch as the things go distant, and she has the same look I have on my face. Death is also shocking. Especially when you don't expect it. But hers stays. I smile. It's the end. The world turns black. I can't hear anything. I can feel something, feels like a child tugging the metal rod out of me, and it shouts something. But I'm already deaf to it.  
  
The blackness consumes. And everything is numb.  
  
I try to say 'goodbye'. But I don't think it even got to my mouth.  
  
.....sleep....  
  
rest.... now....  
  
Night....  
  
And Death? The last memory fades. Is as light as a feather....  
  
--------------------------------------------- Chapter End. ---------------------------------------------  
  
Additional.  
  
I wake up. Where am I? And the memories come flooding back. I jumped out of a window. I remember hearing my neck crack sickeningly. I'm alive?  
  
I must be. I stare at the window, and the sun on my face feels warm. So nice and comforting. I look around some more, and my attention is drawn to a nurse who walks past a window into the corridor. She turns and walks in. She lifts her head, and sees me. She jumps, and looks quite shocked.  
  
"You're awake!" she squeaks. She rushes out, to get a doctor supposedly. I'm in the city hospital..... Birds tweeting outside...... And I remember more. Dib!  
  
"Where is he?" I ask, but no-one's here yet. A few minutes later, and a doctor enters. He asks standard questions.  
  
"Shut up!" I yell at him. He looks surprised. I'm surprised too, my voice sounds fine, yet my neck was broken. "Where is Dib? Dib Membrane!?" The doctor looks sad. He tells me there was an... incident with some government cover-up. Something about aliens.  
  
What do I do now?  
  
I have no brother.  
  
Life.  
  
It's as heavy as a mountain.  
  
------------------------------------------------  
  
The End  
  
------------------------------------------------  
  
This story, and everything I do and think, was in the memory of Harrison Chapple, 1988 - 2003 


End file.
